CATS AND HUMANS: WHO OWNS WHO?

There comes a time in every cat's life where he has to address the big issues. And I'm not talking about whether to have the afternoon nap on the comfy sofa or in that nice warm, sunny spot under the tree in the garden. I'm talking ownership.

Humans believe that us felines are domestic animals that, a few thousand years ago, you took under your wings because of our cute appearance and calming aura. I'd like to dispel that myth once and for all. The truth is that sometime around 8000BC, we got together and WE decided that life would be so much easier if we lived with you. Warmth, food, good places to sleep, fuss when we want it...you really do make life a pleasure. So the cat elders decided that if we caught a few rats and mice, you'd take us in. And you did...

Step forward 10,000 years and we have you totally under our paws without you even knowing it. It suits us entirely to let you think that you're the intelligent ones; that you're the boss. But nothing could be further from the truth, my friends. Our methods, however, remain a closely guarded secret among cat society, and it has come to my attention that a couple of idiotic felines have come very close to being caught on film giving everything away. I don't know quite how, but THIS PIECE OF VIDEO has been translated very accurately, even down to the fake and uninterested meow by one of the protaganists.


Still, I have no doubt that you'll put this down to being a cute spoof concocted by a human, and it's this arrogance and general disbelief of feline intelligence that means we'll be the true 'owners' for thousands of years to come...

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